BACK TO SCHOOL.

I can’t believe it. I have to go back to school in four days!
In my head, I’m like, “Nooooooooooo..

It’s not that I don’t like Dentistry, because I really do. I just don’t like that my school environment is so crowded. The city’s crowded, the school’s crowded, the clinics are crowded. It drives me to a point of negativity, frankly.

Whenever I get my cards read, I’m always told that my destiny is not in the Philippines. Had I known that earlier, would I have chosen to stay? Sometimes I wonder what could have been if I had been more driven, if I had been more gutsy, if I had been more confident. Hmm. There would have been more options, and those options may or may not have included USF, UCLA, and NYU. If I had been a different version of me, my life would have turned out really differently.. and oh yeah, I would’ve been 40lbs heavier.

It’s really tough being a Dentistry student in the Philippines. Unlike schools elsewhere, we have to shell out a lot of money from our own pockets– buy the medicaments, feed the patient (seriously), give the patient fare money (even more seriously), and give the patient “bribe” money so that he’ll come back (okay, I can not get any more serious). In all fairness, it’s totally cheap to study Dentistry in the Philippines.

The up side to all this is that:: 1.) We get familiarized with brands, and we get to explore them on our own, 2.) We get glimpses of what the real world is like, along with the good, and the bad, and 3.) Okay, let me get back at you when I actually think of something “philosophical”.

All the crowdedness has made me develop massive social anxiety. That’s definitely not something I want to carry over to 2014. I don’t mean to exaggerate, but somehow the stressful environment has driven me to lose touch with myself. As much as I wanted to be “balanced” for the entirety of my Dentistry life, I just snapped.– now this is the secret life of some random Dentistry student. I can’t just smile all day and pretend that nothing’s bugging me, because, really, there is. I can’t not be real with Dentistry, because I love it too much.. and being fake isn’t love at all, now is it?